Yesterday’s run was “only” 12 miles, a nice break from the 16-22 mile long runs of the last several weeks.  David and I have officially entered the “taper” period of training.  We hit our maximum distance last week, and now we’ll gradually decrease the mileage until race day

Speaking of race day, it is exactly two weeks from today.  Yikes!  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t VERY nervous about this race.  This will be my fifth full marathon, and I should know what I’m doing by now.  But I’m more concerned about this race than any of the others including the two I ran while pregnant with our last baby.

While I’m not sure exactly why this one is so different, I know at least part of it is the training.  Training has been tough this time, tougher than ever before.  We’ve faithfully run all of the prescribed long runs, but not one of them has been a “good run.”  In running there are “good runs” and “bad runs” and everything in between.  There are always good runs and bad runs in every training period….except this one.  We’ve had a couple of “good” short runs, but every single long run has been a struggle.  And I mean a struggle!  I’ve had the kind of runs where I had to will myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other when I thought I couldn’t take another step.  At times I’ve been brought to tears when I truly thought I couldn’t go on.  My average pace yesterday was 14:08/mile.  That’s far slower than I was running when I was 26 weeks pregnant.

A challenge this time has been our surroundings.  Last summer we moved to a new state, and we have all struggled to adjust.  We miss our friends, our church, and our regular running routes.  Our previous community (just outside Washington DC) had tons of beautiful running trails.  We could have run a different route every day for the entire eight years we lived there.  My favorite was the Mount Vernon Trail where I could enjoy the beauty of the Potomac, the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, and the beautiful trees all within a 5-10 mile run.  I could literally run for hours without even realizing it because I was lost in all the beauty of the area.  When we moved I left behind many real life friends, but those trails were also my friends.  They cheered me on when life was good, they listened when I needed deep moments of contemplation, and they wiped my tears when I was downcast.  Our new community offers a few running trails, but they are secluded, interrupted by busy intersections, or pass by noisy highways.  They lack the beauty and serenity of what we left behind, and I have yet to find friends in them.

I often say that running is a metaphor on life.  Yes, I run to be physically fit and healthy, but I also run for the lessons I learn about life.  So, here I am at the end of 12 rough weeks of training.  I’ve wanted to quit just about everyday.  I’ve wanted to be doing anything but running.  I’ve had to will myself to put one foot in front of the other day after day.  It mirrors my feelings about our move and our new community. I’ve struggled to fit in.  I’ve attempted to make friends only to be met with rejection.  I’ve longed to move back to the community we loved.

But, if running is a metaphor then I must press on.  Just like I did when I completed every run even though I didn’t want to.  Just like I did when I kept moving when I wanted to quit.  Just like I did when I wanted to be running my old friendly trails, but I couldn’t.  I have to move.  If I want to succeed, if I want joy, if I want peace, I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I have to choose to keep going when I want to quit.  I have to choose to find joy in my new surroundings even though it feels lonely and desolate.  Much of the success in running is about being determined.  So, too, much of the success in our new community will be my determination to make the best of a tough situation.  Similarly, much of our success in our endeavors, in reaching our dreams, in weathering the inevitable storms, in achieving our goals, and in life is a product of our determination.  It is our decision to press on, keep moving, forge ahead, face each situation with courage and resolve, persist unwaveringly, and never give up that will get us to the finish line.

In two weeks I WILL finish that race.  It may not be pretty.  In fact, it may be downright ugly.  But, one way or another I’ll cross the finish line.

And I WILL thrive in our new community.  I will learn to bloom where I’m planted.  It’s my choice. to Run Determined!